Joined: February 15, 2005
From: Indianapolis, IN
I recall a memorable passage from Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Abraham Lincoln was once again disappointed by the actions of his General, Meade, during the Battle of Gettysburg. Furious and bitter over Meade's failure to follow orders and his retreat, Lincoln wrote his General a letter. It was a severe rebuke. But...Meade never had the chance to read the letter. It was found in a desk after Lincoln died. It would appear Lincoln thought it through and realized as he put himself in Meade's shoes that he might have done the same thing. If he had Meade's personality, the retreat made even more sense. He may have also thought about the effect that letter would have had on their relationship and the end of Meade's service in his army.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes them strive to justify themselves and their actions.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious grounding, hurts their sense of significance in their world, and arouses resentment.
As Carnegie stated,"When dealing with people let us remember that we are not dealing with people of logic." We are dealing with others around us with their own emotions and a will to self protect. We need to take the time to really practice understanding another's viewpoint.
Understanding not agreeing.
When you respond without fully understanding another's thoughts and feelings you risk having your response be inaccurate.
You risk miscommunication.
I feel privileged to be a part of RehabEdge again. During its beginnings, I responded to hundreds of posts in the Reimbursement Forum as one half of a consultant team. What I saw was that therapists had questions. All levels of therapists from all treatment areas. They wanted to do it RIGHT. They wanted to know WHY. It wasn't about ME: it was about them. It was about their growth, their perspective, their clarity. Perhaps they couldn't get the right answers or the real answers from their supervisors or their employer. Perhaps they were in an ethical dilemma.
The Forum is place where one can risk asking a question without hesitation. A safe haven to share ideas, best practices and debate theory. It is about having the similar and dissimilar come together.
I enjoy being a part of the RehabEdge vision. There is much to learn from each other.