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Re: Fierce Conversations
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 12, 2005 4:02:00 PM
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srcase
Posts: 551
Joined: November 30, 2004
From: Michigan
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Not to get too off topic from SJ... I was just wondering what happend to this thread too. I quoted Susan Scott yesterday when I was meeting with my supervisor to discuss strategies for better interpersonal relationships at work (see above posts). I also practiced some of her strategies and had an hour long conversation that was quite productive. We still haven't resolved all of the issues because not all involved parties were there, but I think we got the ball rolling. So, thanks for the book recommendation Barrett. As for Barrett's course, I was one of the unprepared I guess. I don't remember seeing literature recommendations in the brochure. So, I am still playing catch-up. Being fairly fresh out of school, it is a very steep learning curve that one must have the energy and drive to trudge up! Maybe most of the therapists at your courses are already burned out and blase about their practice. I think it is the "tea-party" atmosphere that (in part) contributes to this burn out. Those who are driven, passionate, and exuberant to learn and share ideas are gradually worn down, overworked, shunned and even reprimanded into not caring so much or trying so hard. Ever hear of the lobster effect? I'm sure this is why many start their own practices, which is probably where I will eventually end up. Is that juicy enough, Nari? Sarah
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 12, 2005 9:29:00 PM
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nari
Posts: 1568
Joined: November 14, 2003
From: Australia
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Sarah
Quite leaky enough.
I haven't heard of the lobster effect (presumably the animal turns red when boiling) but the frog effect is relevant.
Put your frog into tepid water, keep the heat rising very slowly but persistently, and the frog dies without stressing.
Tea parties can aggravate burn-out; keep the atmosphere humming along platonically and no-one notices a PT who is being a frog in the pot. I would agree that those who are passionate and driven are at much higher risk of being in a pot, as are those who are quiet and competent. Whereas your placid PT who does not update but drifts along in a niche with good humour tends not to; but change that niche and all hell breaks out.
Likewise, in a senior position, the frog in the pot is even less noticed, as seniors are expected to look after themselves, taking flack from above and below, within and with-out the system. I've been there, and to avoid being a frog in a pot, I underperformed, intentionally and unintentionally, and bingo...it was noticed. (All ended well.)
Interpersonal relationships at work are tricky. I can only quote: Know thyself (pretty well), and the last person I know of who wrote this was Stephen Jay Gould, a great character. Others admire the strengths of any PT, but the weaknesses get flaunted all around the place. Knowing this will happen at any time, lends a bonus point to perceptions of one's self in the workplace. Constructive criticism is good feedback to grow with - negative or none at all puts more frogs in the pot.
A fierce conversation should always contain positive criticism - or we are back in tea party mode with all being dreadfully nice to each other, and thinking otherwise.
OK enough ranting.
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 12, 2005 11:58:00 PM
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nari
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From: Australia
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I have just read through the DVT thread. A fierce conversation indeed, but not what was intended when this thread on conversations started. So perhaps we need to heed the definition of 'fierce' as Barrett wrote in the first post.
Nari
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 13, 2005 2:45:00 AM
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SJBird55
Posts: 2438
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From: Michigan
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LOL Nari.... the differences in "fierce." Actually... a "hot" conversation can turn into what would be a "fierce" conversation later down the road after some reflection and thinking. In my opinion, the "fierce" aspect generally doesn't happen every time right at the moment of the conversation - sometimes that "fierce" aspect sneaks up on you later - moments later or even years later.
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 13, 2005 11:48:00 AM
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srcase
Posts: 551
Joined: November 30, 2004
From: Michigan
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Nari, Actually, the lobster effect is more obscure and I can't even remember where I heard it. Basically, when lobsters are caught, they are dumped into a large uncovered bin with all the other lobsters. The fisherman are not worried about the lobsters escaping, because anytime a lobster starts to crawl out, the others pull him back down (in an attempt to crawl out themselves). This happens with people all the time. One person starts to work a little harder and everyone pulls that person down in an effort to not look bad themselves. I liked your frog analogy very much though. That is definitely true. I am still in the pot and developing a very nice heat rash! Should we be discussing this in the metaphor thread? :) Sarah
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 13, 2005 12:45:00 PM
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nari
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From: Australia
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Sarah You're right, it might sit more appropriately in the metaphor thread. I have a habit of wandering across threads. I haven't noticed the lobster effect amongst colleagues, only the frog effect.
Nari
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Re: Fierce Conversations - July 16, 2005 12:26:00 AM
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Diane
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Joined: March 9, 2001
From: Vancouver, B.C., Canada
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Sarah, that lobster metaphor is quite good! I've not heard it before.. reminds me of the drowning person who pulls down and drowns the rescuer. No good comes of any of it.
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